Infertility is a touchy subject, as it is something so incredibly difficult and personal. If you aren’t part of the “club”, a club that no one really wishes to be a part of, it’s hard to understand the emotional toll it takes on a couple. It definitely can be difficult to understand how to be supportive and how to respond to such a highly sensitive situation.
Simply put, what do you think you would and wouldn’t like to hear in this particular situation? What would be comforting to you? What wouldn’t be? Don’t get me wrong, everybody is different. However, I think that if more often people would put themselves in the other persons shoes for just a minute, it would give them the opportunity to better empathize with that person.
With that said, here are a few of things you should say and things you should not say:
Things to say:
- You are in my thoughts and prayers
- I really hope this works out for you
- This is unfair and I am so sorry you are having to deal with this
- You are strong
- Share your struggles if you have been in a similar situation
- I’m always here if you would like to talk about it
- I wish I knew what to say to comfort you or how to make this better
Things not to say:
- If it is meant to be, it will be
- If God wants you to have a baby, you will
- Maybe you aren’t doing things right
- If you don’t have any kids you will save a lot of money
- Trust me, you are lucky you don’t have kids
- You know infertility treatments are expensive right?
- If you lost weight you probably could have a baby
- Just adopt
- Just relax
- When you stop trying it will happen
We really do appreciate all of you this blog post is just a gentle reminder that something like this is very emotionally taxing and that your support to us, and any other friends and family you may encounter dealing with infertility means the world. It makes an unfortunate situation that much easier to bare.
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