Marriage: Weekly Discussions (Week 5)

Roses & Thorns:

Jon:

  • Rose – That we got to go to the movies together.  It meant a lot to me that you made the effort to go see a movie about a subject that I was really interested in.
  • Thorn – That the at home pregnancy tests you took came back negative.

Angie:

  • Rose – Getting the outstanding Progesterone results which gave us hope for a positive pregnancy test.
  • Thorn – The negative at home pregnancy tests that we took just a few days later.

Weekly Discussion Topic/Question:  What are three qualities about me that you were first attracted to?

Jon:  I really liked that you were confident, I had never met anyone up until that point that was as confident as you.  I really liked your personality, specifically that you were fun.  Everybody liked you, you had a lot of friends and were always doing something fun.  I knew there was something about you when you could make friends where ever you went.  You were very nice and comforting, and I really liked that about you.

Angie:  I appreciated that you were so friendly.  The first night we met could have been extremely awkward because we were forced to talk when our mutual friend fell asleep on us, but it was anything but awkward.  I felt like I was talking to an old friend, you were so easy to talk to.  I also appreciated your dedication, you took the time to get to know me, and made an effort to talk to me every day.  You were also the sweetest guy I had ever met, you cared about me from the start and that was something I had never experienced before.

Devotional/Book Reading: Explaining our Behavior taken from Gary Chapman’s The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional

O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I am far away…. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! – Psalm 139:1-2, 6

Synopsis: This reading starts by explaining that God knows all, everything about us and even what we are thinking.  It then goes on to explain, that we as human beings do not have this capability and therefore communicating is key to a healthy marriage.  Specifically we need to explain our behavior to our spouse so they know why it is what we are acting the way we are or doing the things we are doing.  Without this explanation we are leaving our spouse in the dark.

Our takeaway:  This was a particularly spot on topic for us.  Good or not, I (Angie) always communicate how I am feeling and why.  I never leave Jon in the dark and always say what is on my mind.  Again, good or not, it just is my personality.  As for Jon, he is more likely to be grumpy but not say why.  Most of the time, it is because he is hungry (haha).  I have learned to bring some snacks where ever we go to calm the beast.  Just kidding, well kind of but anyway back to the point.  Jon doesn’t communicate why he is upset and I am left to guess why.  I am a fixer, and therefore try to figure out the problem so I can find a solution.  Often times Jon’s lack of communication and my need to know start a bigger argument that could have been avoided by communicating better.  Jon concluded that he would make an effort to do a better job of explaining himself.  His goal is to be open and forthcoming about his behavior.  My goal is to be more patient while he works through this process.

Communication is key.  Explaining your behavior and or/intentions shows your spouse that you are willing to be open and honest.  This gives your spouse the gift of knowledge which in turn helps them to process the information and react to the situation appropriately.  This promotes understanding within your relationship.

Please share your rose and thorn for the week, along with some of the traits that attracted you to your spouse.  Do you do a good job of explaining your behavior to your spouse?  How about your spouse, do they do a good job of explaining their behavior to you?

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