I always start these posts but stop along the way hoping that the post will no longer be relevant but it never seems to work out that way.

It has been two regular menstrual cycles since our miscarriage.  I feel like the hope is higher now than before the miscarriage and since, the disappointment is harder to bare.  Patience has never been my strong suit and this situation is certainly not any different.  I’ve been hoping and praying every month since the miscarriage that we would get that positive pregnancy test again and be blessed with a beautiful rainbow baby.  As I mentioned, it has been two normal menstrual cycles since and still nothing.  No rainbow baby…yet.

I took a pregnancy test before we left and it was negative, so I kind of figured we were out this month.  Of course, I held onto the tiniest bit of hope that the test was wrong so I refrained from alcohol (for the most part – one drink on the plane and one at the hotel) and hot tubs all together.  Still Jon and I couldn’t help but talk about our future and plan for the what if. Unfortunately Aunt Flo reared her ugly head during the last couple of days in Hawaii, I was hoping she wouldn’t come but I was definitely expecting it.

The timing was horrible.  Not only was I in paradise having to deal with the disappointed, discomfort and overall inkiness since we were in Hawaii we could not do IUI again this month.  So needless to say we will be going the natural route again.  It is so weird to say that, I hate that we are different.  If this natural cycle doesn’t work out then We hope to be able to do another round of IUI in late October.  I really want to get in one last cycle before the big move as our insurance will be changing and infertility treatments may go out the window, at least for a little while.

Anyway, I will keep you updated.  Please pray for us, pray that our miracle baby, our rainbow baby happens this cycle.